Friday, July 13, 2018

Geek Jokes Galore

In case you don't already play along, every Friday I post a #GeekJoke on Twitter (@DataGeekB)

Over the years we've had demographer jokes, statistician jokes, economist jokes, mathematician jokes, and more. Here are a few of my favorites:

A demographer is just a mathematician broken down by age and sex.

I just saw my colleague with a piece of graph paper.
I think she must be plotting something.

Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can't even...

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
She'll stop at nothing to avoid them...

First day on the job, a boss warns her new employee to avoid the statisticians in the cafeteria: "They're just mean."

To women who ask: "Should I continue to have kids after 35?"
Me: "I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but 35 is a lot of kids."

2 mutually exclusive categories went on a date.
It didn't work out.
They had nothing in common.

Biologist, Demographer & Mathematician sit at a cafe. Across the street they see a man and a woman enter a building. Later those two people reappear with a 3rd person. 
They multiplied! says the Biologist
It's an error in measurement! says the Demographer.
If 1 person enters the building now, it will be empty again, concludes the Mathematician.

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator...

An economist thinks that her equations are an approximation to reality.
A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to her equations.
A mathematician doesn't care.

If you live to be 100, you've got it made.
Very few people die past that age.

A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.

Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can't even...

I made a chart of past relationships.
It has an ex axis and a why axis.

And a couple of geeky riddles:

What always goes up, never goes down?
Your age.

When your code won't run, what can you still count on?
Your fingers.

2 mothers & 2 daughters sat down to breakfast. They had 3 cups of coffee. Each person had exactly 1 cup of coffee.
How is that possible?
(Hint: If you've worked w complex household structure data, you'll figure this one out)

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